Fuck You And Your Barbecue Sauce, Lady
Tonight was slow – I didn’t make much money so I’m kind of pissed about that. I decided to come home and drink it away.
I took a to-go order early on in the night. When she placed the order, she said, “I don’t like your barbecue sauce, but I like your meat. No sauce on the meat.” So I wrote “SOS” on the ticket so the cooks wouldn’t put sauce on the meat, but I knew not to get the sauce, so I wouldn’t put it in there. Two hours later, she calls back.
“Hi, my name is Cuntwad McBitchyson.* I placed a to-go order there and I wanted the sauce on the side and I didn’t get it.” I didn’t recognize the call right away. I asked the other waitresses if they’d taken a to-go order from Cuntwad McBitchyson and neither of them had. Then I recognized it – it was my to-go order. Of course I didn’t start shit, I just apologized. She said, “Well, I just wanted to let you know what you done.”
Here is where I feel like I’m better than her – incorrect grammar. Yes, I may just be a GED-decorated waitress, but at least I would know that the proper way of saying that would be, “I just wanted to let you know what you HAD done.” She didn’t even say, “It’s OK, I just wanted to let you know.” She just bitched and I apologized and we hung up. FUCK THAT, LADY. Don’t complain that I didn’t get it right when you’re the one who said you didn’t want the sauce.
One thing I want people to remember is that just because I’m a waitress doesn’t mean I’m less educated than you, at least philosophically. Yes, I may only have a GED, but chances are I’m more well-read than you and I can speak more articulately than you (as this post proves). Don’t stand there and act all high-and-mighty when I can, at the very least, hold onto the pride I get from the fact that I paid much more attention in English class than you.
*Names changed to protect the stupid.