Why Can’t I Sleep Like A Normal Person?
Most people I know have some sort of set schedule when it comes to sleep. They might be day sleepers, they might sleep at night like we’re programmed to do, but either way, they go to sleep around a certain time and wake up around a certain time.
I’m not like that.
I have, quite possibly, the most fucked-up sleep pattern on the planet (short of fatal familial insomnia, I suppose). Sometimes I’ll crash as early as 10:00 PM. Other nights – like tonight – it’s 4:00 AM and I’m still awake. I haven’t even tried to sleep though, to be honest. I usually don’t try to sleep until I actually get tired. I’m not really one to fight sleep – if I’m sleepy, then I’ll go to bed. I know that even as a little girl my sleep patterns were screwed up, and I hated to have to go to sleep. Now, I relish going to sleep. That’s probably because I don’t get nearly as much sleep as I should.
Now I’m starting to think that I’m contradicting myself because in my intro post I said I am overly caffeinated, and it’s the truth, but I try not to drink too much caffeine close to bedtime because I know it will make my insomnia worse. I try everything. I take diphenhydramine on pretty much a regular basis (although I’m pretty sure that’s not the healthiest thing in the world), and I try to regulate my sleep patterns. I can’t do it though. My sleep pattern will be regular for a few nights, then it gets messed up again. I hate to complain about it because I know I could have it worse (if you read that article on fatal familial insomnia), but come on, sleep is a basic necessity for the healthy functioning of the human body. Food, water, clothing, shelter, and sleep – you’re good to go. If you’re lacking any one of those things, chances are, you’re not a healthy individual. Luckily I have the food, the water, the clothing, and the shelter. It’s the sleep thing that’s out of my reach.
Now, since it’s 4:00 AM, even though I’m not tired, I guess I could try to sleep, huh?